Off the Deep End
04/01/2008

Off the Deep End--Just Part of the Journey

On March 30th, I had the thrilling experience of participating in an “Off the Deep End” performance to a packed crowd at SOhO, Santa Barbara's local music club.   The event was reminiscent of open mike performances at Village coffeehouses in the ‘60-s, of poetry readings and rap-ins at Elsie’s today, or of any off-the-beaten track “happening” where emerging artists come to share their work and find their audiences.
On this evening eight women, ranging in age from 17 to 60, each presented personal, 15-minute vignettes that included everything from a capella lullabies to narrated, improvisational movement pieces, to angry monologues, to hard-driving rock ‘n roll.  The performances were the culmination of the 12-week "Off the Deep End" workshop created by Mick and Tess Pulver and the night's songs were backed by Mick and the enormously talented Breakthrough Band (Tony Mandraccha on guitar, George Friedenthal on keyboard, Larry Perpoli on drums, Pulver on bass, with Shannon Ward and Laura Craig on back-up vocals).  The women presented stories of their lives, songs of their heartaches and frustrations, and rousing celebrations of their breakthroughs. 

I had the honor of being one of these performers, chronicling in word and song my journey of the prior 12 weeks--and more importantly, the prior 54 years.   At mid-life, I've finally evolved from a girl whose primary motivation was to live up to others' expectations into a woman who is willing to speak her own truth and achieve the goals that she decides are meaningful. 

One of the most liberating aspects of the process has been the freedom I've finally attained from the cultural imperative that women be sex objects.  Recognizing how much the demand to "be sexy" limited me for so many years drove me to rewrite the words to the angry song of sexual rejection entitled “Sheila Na Gig.”  Ironically, now I am the one rejecting the demand to be sexual.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZE4YEZa1SU

Tapping into that anger led naturally to more global issues, which I wrote my first-ever song about:  “Shiva Rides the Whirlwind.” 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t65W39qeCUY&feature=related

My final song of the evening recognized that, at least psychologically, aging has been "a total blessing,” implying that the best is yet to be.  I rewrote the words to Bruce Springsteen’s “No Surrender” to give voice to that sentiment. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzKHsmotkV8

If you click on the any of the above links to watch the YouTube videos of my performance, you'll find The sound quality uneven, the singer's voice inconsistent, and you won't be able to appreciate the power of the band, the shouts and applause of the crowd, or the thrill of publicly, finally, speaking my truth.  Still, I hope you'll gain something from listening. 

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Breakthrough Performance Workshop was founded by lifelong musician Mick Pulver as a way to support others in using the voice as a tool for transformation, healing, and celebration. The Workshop is offered in various formats, ranging in length and intensity from the Breakthrough Experience weekend to the 12-week “Off the Deep End” (Level 3) Workshop.  In all of them, people of all ages and singing ability come together to express the essence of their souls and to support each other through the process. For more information, visit www.bigembrace.com, or call (805) 450-0919.